best story ever! - FTP-Anime Forums

welovehina · 12-01-2010, 10:30 AM

It was in the Washington Post... the title of the article was "Best Comeback Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday.

Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need."

"I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor.
"I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin."

Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.

"I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realise that you are screwing a pumpkin?'

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there and then looked me straight in the face and said,

"A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?"

akibastyle · 12-01-2010, 10:50 AM

LMAO

wth

nnnmmm · 12-01-2010, 01:06 PM

Lmao...........Wow that's the funniest thing I've heard in quite a while. That's quick thinking for ya

hyper_shadow · 13-01-2010, 12:41 AM

I just can't fathom the thought processes going on in a human brain that would turn you to screwin a pumpkin.....

welovehina · 13-01-2010, 04:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hyper_shadow

I just can't fathom the thought processes going on in a human brain that would turn you to screwin a pumpkin.....

yeah really... but people do strange things.

Maester · 14-01-2010, 10:45 AM

I am reminded of what Ian Holm said once "one can get too familiar with vegitables"

welovehina · 14-01-2010, 12:58 PM

hahahaha. i guess thats true....

gracie14 · 15-02-2010, 09:09 AM

That was soo..funny!

hikana · 27-03-2010, 09:52 PM

yeah funny

12-01-2010, 10:30 AM	#1 (permalink)
welovehina Templar's Grand Master Lord of FTP-Anime Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: over the rainbow Posts: 1,046 Thanks: 46 Thanked 317 Times in 151 Posts	best story ever! It was in the Washington Post... the title of the article was "Best Comeback Line Ever." In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday. The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need." "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realise that you are screwing a pumpkin?' He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there and then looked me straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?" __________________ Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

12-01-2010, 10:50 AM	#2 (permalink)
akibastyle Super Moderator Grand Duke of FTP-Anime Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: on PSN, trying to boost my gamer tag up lol^o^ Posts: 2,643 Thanks: 662 Thanked 4,151 Times in 608 Posts	LMAO wth __________________ Ja ne! Pls hit the thanks button instead of posting it if that's all you have to say! "All it takes is one bad day to drive an average, modest man irretrievably insane."

12-01-2010, 01:06 PM	#3 (permalink)
nnnmmm Member Lord Knight Templar of FTP-Anime Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Bronx,New York Posts: 888 Thanks: 263 Thanked 293 Times in 168 Posts	Lmao...........Wow that's the funniest thing I've heard in quite a while. That's quick thinking for ya __________________ Sig by Jubei44

13-01-2010, 12:41 AM	#4 (permalink)
hyper_shadow Member Knight of FTP-Anime Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tip'n Posts: 275 Thanks: 31 Thanked 96 Times in 76 Posts	I just can't fathom the thought processes going on in a human brain that would turn you to screwin a pumpkin..... __________________

14-01-2010, 12:58 PM	#7 (permalink)
welovehina Templar's Grand Master Lord of FTP-Anime Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: over the rainbow Posts: 1,046 Thanks: 46 Thanked 317 Times in 151 Posts	hahahaha. i guess thats true.... __________________ Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

14-01-2010, 10:45 AM	#6 (permalink)
Maester Member Worthless Begger of FTP-Anime Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 4 Thanks: 9 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	I am reminded of what Ian Holm said once "one can get too familiar with vegitables"

15-02-2010, 09:09 AM	#8 (permalink)
gracie14 Member Worthless Begger of FTP-Anime Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 6 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	That was soo..funny!

27-03-2010, 09:52 PM	#9 (permalink)
hikana Member Page of FTP-Anime Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Empty Room ~ Posts: 124 Thanks: 27 Thanked 12 Times in 10 Posts	yeah funny __________________ Thank you Jubei-Niisan

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